Well it's really up to you but my advice is either:
1-Talk to him about this and tell him how serious you are about it, if he still does nothing divorce.
2-Seperate for a little while and see if you can solve your problems.
If he's going to jail anyway, what difference does it really make? I think two years of him dragging your family down is long enough, don't you? What are you teaching your children by putting up with this? And you just went to work? How can you have kids and just sit there and loose everything while they watch? You can't just blame him, when you could have been working even if he wasn't!!! TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AND WAKE UP! Dump him and make a life for your CHILDREN!!!
You need to be open and honest with him. Tell him that you know that money could make or break your family and where your sitting at the moment its breaking it because those kids i bet would want the luxuries put back in their life. YOU need to give him a kick up the bum as it will end nastily otherwise. Good Luck xxx
I think you should talk to him and tell him that he needs a job. It seems that he cares about you and your family but just not material things.
funny you never mention that little word called love
DO YOU LOVE HIM????
If yes, stay, if not, move on
I'm sorry to hear of your troubles . . . There may be some issues to consider . . .
First, your husband may be suffering an undiagnosed bout of depression. If you have access to any kind of medical care, please seek help to see if this is a factor in his behavior.
Second, it's obvious that you care for this man, which is why I recommend seeking help for any possibly undiagnosed issues. However, if your husband's behavior is having a negative effect on you and your children, you must consider the welfare of you and your kids first. If your husband is unwilling to do everything he can to straighten himself out, you may have little choice than to choose the survival of your children, and you, as they count on you.
I wish you all the best . . .
Your husband sounds depressed. He is in need of getting his personal life in order. You can talk to him about this but of course, no one can force him to make a change. It's time for a good talk and being truthful about your feelings. After 14 years of marriage, that sounds basically good, I think another try is in order. If he does not physically or mentally abuse you or the children, I say give it a try.
If he refuses or makes false promises, then you need to go forward, for self preservation, for your self-worth and that of your children's
I wish you success.
Wow, I feel really bad for you. You should immediately look to taking care of yourself and your children because it seems like he is heading for trouble. Do you have any family or friends that can assist you? I would try to find someone that can help you without relying on him. Until you can be independent, try to get as much as you can out of him and encourage him to improve.
I would stick by him, just think how he feels, he may not say it but, losing his job and house and all those other matrial things, and on top of that, he may lose the only thing he has left, his family? I'm sure he thinks about how he's screwed up and isn't being the man that it sounds like he could be,often enough, with out having to lose his kids and wife of over 14yrs...Stick by your man, for better or worse, rich or poor ya know? have you talked to him about it? and I do mean talk, not nag or anything like that, He needs support just as much as you, you know?
You need to tell your husband exactly what you have put on here. There's nothing like someone you love pointing out the obvious to put things into perspective. He needs to get his priorities straight and provide for his family. 14 years is a long time to throw away. Give him more time to get himself sorted and if the same things keep happening then you need to think about what's best for you and the children.
obviously he is not helping you. dump him now, it sounds to me that he is comfortable making you do all of the work, too many guys out there are like that & you know in your heart that you can take care of your family on your own. Give him 2 weeks to find a job or leave, simple as that. He sounds lazy to me!!
I can relate. For the past year I have been giving extra because my husband was a Mortgage Broker. It has been very very hard maintaining our life style on pretty much one income and the occasional unemployment check. Recently he started working but it's only a contract position and can end any time. Unlike your husband, mine questions me every time I ask for money and it makes me really sad considering all I have done over the past year. So I told him that if the contract ends, I will cover the bills through March. If he does not have something by then, we are going to need to re-evaluate our expense and possible move from our house to an apartment. It's not ideal with 2 teenage children but you have to do what you have to do to survive. I am also prepared to leave come March if he refuses to move. So to make a long story short, you have to do what is right for you and your children. Good Luck to you and I'm sure it will all work out for you.
Don't always depend on someone, you should have gotten ready for this situatuion aerlier, it happens to alot of us women. As for you and your husband, there is nothing more comforting to a man than his woman being here by his side to support him, showing him you care and want to help makes them try harder. Both of you should support each other, that's the best thing you should do to each other especially now that you guys are going through this. And most of all never lose hope!!! Be there for him and help him out too, find a way, he can't do everything himself.
u said it urself, he has no problem giving money when he has it. if hes loving and you do still love each other, theres more important things in life than money. like each other and your ids. keep on working it good to feel you can stand on your own 2 feet and you know that money is coming in to pay bills etc... the biggest thing people argue about is money, but u gotta ask yourself is it realli worth it? good luck!
I'm sorry your in this dilemma. Obviously you can't count on him, so don't expect anything from him. I do believe in marriage and I think people don't stay for the downs of it. He needs to step up though with getting a job. Explain how you feel, and tell him you can not live like this anymore. He needs to help support you and family or he has to leave, because you cannot support him and the family alone. If he leaves, it's one less mouth to feed. Be firm and mean it. He won't want to lose you because you put up with his crap for 14 years.. Don't take him saying "I'm trying to find a job" crap. Every CVS or Target are looking for stocking or truck help. If nothing he can go to a fast food resturant until he finds better. At least more money would be coming in.. I hope my suggests help. Good Luck!
stay with him no matter what. too many people are getting divorced these days. it might seem that you can;t take it anymore but i promise you if you just trust God He will never leave you. thinking of you.
Hey, I am only 13 and never dated BUT I would sit down and talk with him. Maybe you could come up with a solution to your problems and work everything out.
He just seems like a loser and you should just concentrate on being a strong independent woman and mother and worry about yourself and your kids. After 14 years and 2 kids he still can't man up and be responsible then i don't know what it will take.
OH wow!!
well when you first started noticing these changes what was your first instict?
If you are married to this guy and dearly love him..maybe you should think if he REALLY REALLY REALLY loves you back.
hope this may help you think
=]
maybe you guiys should look into going to counseling. also see if you can get someone to help you with finances, ya know, tell you where to put money, how much to save each month, ect. doesn't sound like your marriage is in trouble, jsut that you all need to get your life back on track. i recomend you make him get a job first and formost
why did you jus recently get a job, why do you always look for a man to pay everything, then when he gets laid off or injured, you in the situation your in now. get off your butt and stop being a stay home wife geez
i think you should talk to him about how feed up you r if he doesn't change leave him i know it's hard gurl but he's holding u n yo kids back from reaching better things
don't leave him!! money is no reason to leave. Maybe separate for a while so he knows your serious. maybe a break will push him to get back on his feet!
well dont worry that happen to my parents and they seperated but thats not the point tell him if u dont step up to him tell him if ur not doing anything with the kids house or me were going to be seperated to see if he'll change and to see if he'll step up.
with all this going on he must feel really bad himself ,have you though of that and your just about to add to it .,he should be supported in going to the doctor (hes probably depressed \) and then work pout your life together if you relly loved him you will help him.
A loving man with a good heart does not allow his family to lose their home due to his lack of work. He acts loving so as to snowball you. Wake up to this lazy, irresponsible husband of yours and demand he begin to contribute to the needs of the family. Us tax payers are tired of paying for someone else's responsibilities. Why should you be on welfare when you have an able body man at home? Shame on you! Sorry, but true.
Only you can make the decision to leave or not. Perhaps counseling or a church pastor could help for someone for you to talk to.
RUN before he takes you down farther than you can recover from.
In your marriage vows you said for rich or for poor.
Give him an ultimatum...he either gets a job or you and the kids go!
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